Navigating the Cold

In the last couple of years, I've spent a lot of time in my head, delving deep into my own psyche, finding my biggest blocks, and dealing with them. Now, however, I am emerging back into the waking world, and I am finding that, when one looks at the external world with a clear mind, one still sees the same conflict one finds inside one's own head.

So, this will probably be the year that I work on accepting the world around me, seeing the complexity that is obvious in sensory existence, and learning to appreciate the physical representation of my conscious awareness. I don't understand the world around me any better than I understand how my own thoughts work, but I'm learning that one informs the other. One IS the other. And it is the same exercise to think one's own thoughts, trying to exercise understanding of one's own mind, as it is to observe and move through the waking world.

I currently find myself in strange surroundings. Minnesota in the winter time is no joke. The people here fight against their surroundings. It is legitimately dangerous to leave your house. The high this week has been around -3 degrees with the average temp, even in the middle of the day, looking more like -11. Boots and scarves and gloves are a necessity, not just an afterthought. Time must be allowed to warm up the car or carefully navigate the sidewalks. People turn into lumbering, uncomfortable bags of insulated fabrics and wear their smiles like hard-won mementos.

This lifestyle makes the whole 'Minnesota Nice' attitude make a lot more sense. The people here are wonderful when they connect with each other. There is a lot of effort made to unite the community and keep everyone out of isolation. But the conditions force us to isolate sometimes, even when we are out in public. And when the folks here have to make it to the grocery store or around the corner to the car, all the worry they may feel about anyone else kind of takes a back seat.

Again, it is dangerous. When the environment promotes a feeling of worry about the well being of our individual self, one can very easily separate from the joy of this existence. The choices, sometimes, seem to be between staying in bed and being warm or going out in the cold to try to find others. Isn't that always the way.

For me, I realize it is a choice to live here. I have no reason to stick around any longer than I have to. We really like the opportunities available to us in the Twin Cities, but I am recognizing a need within myself to improve my relationship with my surroundings. My attitude and my situation are both controlled by my ego and my perception, and I am free to change either one at any time. I feel like I will probably change both again this year. Em and I will either submit to the necessities of Minnesota life, or we will seek a new environment, drawing closer to our ideal situation. The landscape of the physical world mirrors the inside of one's own psyche, and I am seeing that more and more.

For now, my task is to find peace with the harsh winter. Like my fellow Vikings fans, I have to trudge the happy road of destiny toward the warm glow and merrymaking in the distance. I've decided not to leave this place tomorrow, so I have to appreciate the challenges of today.